• Where should I go in my new Plastique?

Go where your pants tell you to go.

  • Can you wear them in the shower?

You can if you want. We’re not the boss of you.

  • Will a sandwich stay fresh in my pockets?

Right now, these pants do not work well for food storage. But stay tuned.

  • How do I make my squeaks louder?

We recommend walking slowly with your legs pressed tightly together.

  • I want to buy Plastique, but they are unavailable. How can I go on?

It’s sad. But you must keep on keeping on.